


Drown in Silence

by featherlullaby



Category: Avril Lavigne (Musician), Paramore
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Body Dysphoria, Child Abuse, Dark, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this when I was 13 cut me some slack, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Running Away, Sad, Suicide Attempt, avril is a sweetheart, hayley's kind of a mess, hayvril, kinda cringey, self schooling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 06:58:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12625641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featherlullaby/pseuds/featherlullaby
Summary: ❝I almost made myself stop breathing, but you loosened the air back into my lungs.❞





	1. part one

_August 29._

It wasn't that Hayley didn't know how to swim. She did.

She just felt it was best if she untaught herself.

The redhead stood on the edge of the dock with a fantastic view of the ocean. The salty breeze and scent of flowers hit her senses, and she breathed in deeply.

Then she let it go, hollowing her mouth, adding to the air already hanging in the sky.

Polluting it.

She didn't move for a while, preparing herself for what she was about to do.

"Hey."

Hayley startled at the voice and jolted forwards, almost falling into the water. Something she was planning to do from the beginning, but now wasn't able to.

"The red flag is up, and the lifeguard is off duty. I don't think you're supposed to be out here."

The redhead turned slowly, slightly; her body at first, then her head. She met the eyes of a girl around her height, wearing a simple black one-piece bathing suit and clutching a cerulean surfboard with a streak of bright orange paint to her side; she had obviously made plans to go surfing today, but was let down. The girl gasped, then; lightly, under her breath. She guessed she had seen the lacking structure of her bony face, or her sickly pale skin.

"Um...I think the snack bar is still open. My brother's there. If you want, I could get you something."

Hayley looked down at the girl's sandals, laced with dry sand. She considered her offer.

"Okay."

She smiled and led her back across the beach, farther and farther away from where Hayley wanted her body to be most.

[[ ]]

The girl's name was found to be Avril, and her brother's was Matt. Avril appeared to be the more outspoken of the two, but they were both eager to chat with Hayley.

Avril was nice enough to buy her a container of crunchy chocolate-covered ice cream bites. Even after her reluctance, her insistence that she didn't need to do such a thing, that she wasn't hungry, the brunette did anyway.

Hayley only stared at them in her hand, watching as the chocolate and ice cream melted into a sticky mess and the shape became deformed amidst what little heat was still left of the season.

Avril noticed this and asked why she hadn't eaten them. She didn't respond, feeling even more guilty that now she had wasted her money. She wanted to cry.

And she did. The container fell onto the ground, emitting a dull thunk and spilling its contents, and Hayley buried her face in her hands before running away.

[[ ]]

"Are you okay?"

Hayley felt Avril's presence beside her. Or maybe it was Matt. She couldn't tell; she had her eyes covered and her ears were ringing.

She opened her eyes and found that it was indeed Avril, who had thrown on Matt's flannel shirt over her swimsuit.

"I'll pay you back," Hayley whispered under her breath, and Avril must have been hanging onto a miracle because she understood what she said.

"You don't need to, it's fine. Is that why you're crying?"

"Why do you care?" the redhead suddenly lashed out. "You don't even know me!" Her voice cracked and splintered like old wood.

The other girl stared at her painfully, looking as if there was a hidden turmoil in her mind trying to figure out what was wrong.

"I care because...I just care. Now tell me what's the matter."

Hayley sniffed and wiped at her face; she realized Avril probably had some story behind that statement she didn't want to go on about, so she kept quiet.

The two stood in silence for a while, Avril eyeing her every shift and turn, as if Hayley were a maze she didn't want to get lost in.

"I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I can't tell you."

She nodded. "Okay." Her gaze stroked the bricks making up one side of the snack bar.

The sun timidly revealed itself from the translucent shelter it had behind clouds, shining on the girl's face and making its underlying colors more apparent. Visions of red, brown, and orange danced across her cheeks, and Hayley found herself beginning to stare back.

"I should probably go," she vocalized suddenly, feeling unneeded. "Thanks for buying me the food."

"Wait," Avril called out when she had walked a good few feet away. "I'll walk you to your car."

"I, um, I walked here."

"Then...let me walk you home." She waved Matt off from where she was standing and made some sort of signal to him, to which he nodded and walked out of their view. "It's getting kind of late, anyway."

[[ ]]

Hayley soon found comfort in being alone with the girl. Listening to the flag pounding hollowly against its metal staff in the wind, their dissonant flip-flops snapping against the pavement, the insects beginning to shrill from hidden spaces.

Avril lazily dragged her surfboard against the ground before asking, "So what brought you to the beach today?"

She swallowed and glanced upwards. "I just wanted to look at the waves."

Envision her body beneath them.

"Cool. Sucks that the weather got kind of intense." She motioned to her surfboard. "Well. It's getting close to fall, anyway."

"Yep."

Hayley saw her house creep into nearness and stopped.

Avril stopped as well.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a near whisper.

The redhead only looked down, locks of her hair splaying over her chest and tears threatening to join them.

She came closer, gentle fingers grazing her thin arms.

"Don't you want to go home?"

"No..."

She didn't want to cry in front of a stranger, not again, but her eyes had other ideas.

Avril hugged her, then, with the cold buttons of her brother's flannel pressing into the skin on her stomach her shirt failed to conceal. One of her hands comfortingly stroked her back.

She waited until she calmed down before murmuring into her ear.

"I know what that feels like."

[[ ]]

Avril seated herself beneath a tree, clutching her legs to her chest. Hayley followed suit.

The brunette took a deep breath, inhaling the subtle scent of pine trees and rotting wood. Calming herself, it seemed.

"When I was like, eight, I started...growing, I guess, into the person I wanted to be. I borrowed Matt's clothes, I wore baseball caps, I got into a lot of sports. And my mom hated that." She scratched her cheek, looking uncomfortable. "She said I was behaving too much like a 'guy' and needed to act more like a 'lady'." She scoffed at the word.

Hayley paid attention, silent.

"It never really got bad until I came home from school one day with a girl. Her name was Amy and, god, she was gorgeous. And I introduced her to my mom as my girlfriend." Avril winced. "She wouldn't stop screaming at me, and Amy got so scared that she ran away. Then we argued back and forth until she hit me."

Avril wiped at her eyes, hiding her tears.

"After that, it became a regular thing. She'd hit me whenever I didn't do what was expected of me as a girl, trying to shape me into what she wanted. Eventually she kicked me out of the house. My brother and sister are the only people who still talk to me."

Hayley placed a hand on her shoulder, offering unspoken support. She in turn laid her hand over hers, appreciating her concern, and the redhead felt heat flourish throughout her body at the touch.

After some silence ensued she realized it was probably her turn to tell her story.

"Yeah. Um..." She cleared her throat. "My parents di-...uh...dev-..." She fought to recall the word she had read over so many times on that piece of paper.

"Divorced?"

"Yeah, that. So it's just me and my mom."

Avril nodded.

"Mhm. Uh. She hits me a lot, too. But she mostly just ignores me. She's...crazy. Yeah." Hayley hated hearing herself speak. She was never quite educated, and likewise wasn't the greatest at explaining things.

Avril moved the hair away from her neck, revealing pastel bruises her skin had nearly washed away completely.

"Did she do this?"

"Ah...yeah. I was kinda hoping you wouldn't see those..."

Then the brunette turned towards her and leaned in slightly, getting closer and closer to her face by the second. Hayley was so unsure of what she was doing that she moved backwards, startled.

"Wh-...what are you...?"

Avril tilted her head, then her eyes glimmered with understanding. "Just trust me, okay?"

Hayley did.

Avril did an unfamiliar thing then; she moved in close enough that their lips touched, and sucked on hers lightly. The redhead, confused, mimicked her actions: eyes closed, lips parted, pressing herself more into the other girl.

They broke apart, and Hayley stared into the aquamarine eyes she had grown to envy. Cicadas chirped in time with their breathing.

"Was that okay?"

Hayley wanted to do it again. She didn't know what it was, but she craved more.

"Yes."

The sun slowly began to set, and Avril promptly placed her lips upon the other girl's cheek one last time.

"I'll find you again, okay?"

"Okay."

 


	2. part two

_August 30_.

Hayley grew frustrated that morning when she wasn't able to complete a math problem on her computer.

She and her mother had lived in a dirty, dilapidated house for as long as she could remember. As such, she was never provided an education, having to take it upon herself to teach herself what she noticed other people her age already knew. She learned all of her vocabulary from a beaten-up dictionary she found in a drawer in the desk her computer was situated on.

Well, it wasn't _her_ computer, exactly. Hayley had dug it out from a box in the basement and booted it up, which wasn't easy. She had read each paragraph of the instruction manual at an almost half-hour rate. She considered herself to be a rather slow person; hell, it had taken her a good few months to figure out how to spell her own name.

Once she did manage to first turn it on, she discovered a world entirely different from what her mother was barely around to show her. There were websites she could put money into in order to have clothes and other things sent straight to her house. She was able to watch videos of anything her fingers could direct her to. There was even an online version of the dictionary she had.

But the thing that changed her life most was her discovery of music. There were almost a hundred different kinds, maybe more. Hayley found she particularly favored those with heavy guitars, drums, and screaming, and likewise picked out a few bands she enjoyed listening to.

She also had found something called a "pen pal" forum, where she was able to talk to anyone who wanted to make friends with her. She had posted on it awhile back but hadn't expected anyone to care, anticipating her request to just be buried underneath the others belonging to people more attractive and intelligent than she was.

But she had caught the interest of one boy by the name of Taylor. They had chatted back and forth, small talk, both trying to get a vague idea of who the other was. She was currently expecting a response back from the message she had last sent him.

While that occupied another part of her mind, she continued to struggle with the math problem glaring in her face, taunting her with its incompletion. It was on another website she had found, an online course program, free to anyone who signed up for it. Hayley grumbled to herself, scribbling out scratch work she deemed incorrect on a piece of lined paper. She knew she was allowed to get help on the website, but was too stubborn to.

So she muttered insults to herself. Called herself "stupid" and "incompetent", "useless", as her mother often did.

A dull "ping" sounded from one of the only two other tabs she had open, and the name "Taylor" with a green dot to the left of it appeared, signaling he had messaged her back.

_Hey :) To answer your last question, yes I love music!! I'm learning the guitar. Do you play anything?_

To her limited knowledge of instruments, no, Hayley realized she didn't. She didn't want to sound boring, however, and tried to respond to the best to his interests as she could.

_no, i wish i could though. i sing along to songs on you tube if that counts lol._

_That's cool! What songs do you like?_

_mostly stuff by bullet for my valentine, a day to remember, and deftones. you?_

_I love mewithoutYou. It's really the only band I listen to, haha. But I've heard of those bands too! Also I think it's awesome that you actually have things to talk about, most of the girls on here are just hookers and shit. I was actually about to delete my account before you messaged me._

_oh really? do you talk to guys too?_

_Nah. They're either sleazy assholes or creepy loners. Like I said, you're really the only normal person I've found on here so far._

Hayley was in the middle of typing something else painfully slowly before Taylor sent her another message.

_Can you send me a picture? I'd like to see what you look like._

She read over the request several times, blinking a few times.

_um.., this is probably going to sound really dumb but how do i do that?_

_Do you have a camera application in your computer?_

Hayley looked at her sparse desktop and found a gray square icon with a circle inside it, and the word _Camera_ underneath it. She clicked on it.

The redhead was startled when her face suddenly appeared on the screen, and she gasped and wheeled backwards in her chair. She watched herself on the computer mirror her own movements, albeit slower and out of sync.

She pulled her body back over to the desk and stared back at her pale, doe-eyed appearance on the screen.

She looked ugly.

 _This_ is what Taylor wanted to see?

Still, she followed through. She smiled as brightly as she could and pressed a button that saved the photo to her computer. She opened it and glanced over its every pixel, judging the uneven way her nose looked and how dry and cracked her lips were. The lighting was dark and the picture was of low quality anyway, so there was a good chance he wouldn't even notice all the things wrong with her face.

Hayley attached it in a message and sent it to him. The computer was very old and terribly slow, and it took quite a while for him to receive. So long, in fact, that she was able to work through the math problem she had been having difficulty with and start in on the next one.

The "ping" again. She read the new message.

_You're pretty :) Here's me_

He sent her a picture of himself as well, but she barely glanced at it. Her mind was busy registering the previous message, and the intertwined compliment: _You're pretty._

Taylor thought she was pretty?

Why? No one else did. Her mother didn't. She certainly didn't. He was probably just being nice.

She didn't reply, instead deciding to finish the math lesson the website had given her.

[[ ]]

Hayley's mom didn't return home that night, which she thanked God for and began making dinner for herself.

She hated her mother, but she at least got the bills paid and put food in the cupboards.

She settled on a simple meal of microwaved macaroni and cheese, one of the few things she knew how to make. Most of what she learned to do came from videos online, including preparing meals. She was envious of those people. They were smarter and more capable than she was. They made things she didn't know how to and used things she didn't have.

The microwave beeped, and she retrieved her bowl of mac and cheese before heading back down into the dark basement. She flicked the lights on, dim and buzzing, and sat back down at her desk.

Hayley thought back to that... _thing_ she and Avril shared just a day ago. How the brunette's lips tasted upon hers.

It was odd, and she didn't understand it. And when that happened, she usually looked it up.

She typed in as many details as she could remember into the search bar and tapped the _Enter_ button.

Oh. It was "kissing". She recalled that word from her dictionary, but didn't know what it physically looked like.

She scrolled through the images her curiosity provided, all of which included an attractive, strong man and lithe, pretty woman performing the action. None, she soon discovered, were of two women.

This posed several questions in Hayley's mind. Was what she did with Avril, them kissing...was it normal?

She chewed on her fork, grinding it against her molars, mulling over the thought.

She didn't know, but was too afraid to look it up.

[[ ]]

Hayley went to bed late that night, after thoroughly rinsing her now empty bowl in the sink and leaving it submerged in soapy water with the fork. She washed her hands and brushed her teeth in the bathroom upstairs, changed into pajamas, and climbed into her cold bed.

However, she was unable to sleep. She rested her chin on her pillow, looking up at the faint stars in the night sky past her window. She sighed, wondering if Avril was recognizing the same constellations she was.

That was one thing she was really interested in. Studying the sky. Astronomy, it was called. She wanted to be an astronomer.

She liked that word, astronomer. She felt it fit her nicely. She liked belonging in things.

Hayley had researched numerous topics and subtopics surrounding the field. She had painstakingly written pages and pages of notes and illustrations in notebooks piled underneath her bed, unbeknownst to anyone, even her mother. She couldn't risk having work that valuable to her be taken away.

She wanted more than anything to find out every piece of the void behind the sky overhead. It seemed much more interesting and beautiful than the ground she was cursed to fall onto.

Hayley thought of Avril, and her kind blue eyes. She thought of Taylor, and how he had called her pretty. She ignored the sudden slam of the front door downstairs, and her mother's drunken mumbling.

Two out of three wasn't bad. She found it much easier to drift off into sleep then.

 


	3. part three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: abuse

_September 2._

Hayley didn't expect to run into Avril ever again. Or, at least, not that soon.

But there she was, kicking a soccer ball around in the park a mile or so away from Hayley's house. Despite the lingering chill in the air from the impending autumn, the brunette was dressed in shorts and a jersey too baggy for her body type, ignoring the cloudy hang of her breath in the cold.

However, Hayley had learned that not everyone wanted to be bothered by her presence, and decided to keep to herself. She pulled out the notebook concealed in her sweater and sat down on the bench a few feet away. It was yet another volume of the collections of notes she had accumulated around astronomy. She began scrawling corrections in the margins where newfound information surpassed the outdated.

She heard Avril's voice, and looked up to see her holding her soccer ball in her hands. "Hey. Didn't you hear me? I asked if you wanted to kick the ball around with me."

"Oh! Sorry, I guess I didn't." The redhead blushed and averted her gaze. "Um, no thank you. I'm not into sports."

The other girl sat down next to her, peeking at her notes. "Wow. Is that all for school?"

Hayley blinked; she didn't realize something like this could be taken at any school. She was probably looking into the wrong online education sources. "No, it's not."

"Can I see?"

Reluctantly, she handed over the fragile notebook. "Please be careful with it."

Avril nodded, brushing her dirtied hands on her shorts, and gingerly took it.

Hayley watched intently as the brunette studied one page, squinting, trying to read her messy handwriting. Often a crease would form between her thin eyebrows and her bottom lip would slip underneath her top set of teeth. Finally she returned the book, looking dazed.

"I don't think I understood half of what you wrote," she said, then chuckled lightheartedly. "I'm not that smart."

Hayley smiled, a bit sadly, and bumped shoulders with her. "Neither am I."

"Are you kidding? I'm pretty sure nobody at my school knows what the word 'culmination' means." Avril shook her head, smiling.

"I'm really not," she mumbled, adding a more forceful tone to her voice. She didn't believe it, so Avril shouldn't have either.

The other girl didn't press on, instead changing the subject. "So you want to study the sky, huh?"

The redhead glanced at the front cover. "Yeah, I guess. What about you?"

"I want to be a hockey player," she said, arching her back to sit up straighter. "Or a policewoman, I haven't decided yet."

Hayley smiled upon finding this common ground that they shared. Both of them were more interested in careers more suitable for men, but neither saw anything unfitting in it.

Without thinking, she leaned forward and sealed Avril in an inexperienced kiss. The brunette responded by shifting her face to clean it up a bit and wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her close.

They pulled apart after a minute, both girls' gazes flickering back and forth between the other's face and cloud of expelled breath.

"Will you be here again?" Hayley asked, suddenly chilly from the new lack of their shared heat.

"Mhm."

"Then I will be, too."

[[ ]]

"Where the hell were you?"

The question pierced Hayley's ears painfully the moment she stepped through the front door. Silently, she faced her mother, looking up at her with her fragile, glassy eyes.

"I was in the park."

"Which park? There isn't a park around here."

She had begun to mumble basic directions based on a route perspective before her mother interrupted her, holding up a dismissive hand. "I don't fucking care. You _know_ you're not allowed to leave the house without telling me."

The redhead had initially thought she would still be in bed by now, sleeping past her hangover, but didn't verbalize this for her own safety. "It was only like a mile away—"

"Didn't I say I don't give a shit? Have you gone deaf? Are you even _listening_ to me?" Her mother stepped forward, bringing an arm up, and Hayley knew what was to come.

She was struck across the face, the force of the blow causing her to nearly lose her balance and stumble backwards. Her mother then curled her hand into a fist and bashed her twice in the head. Hayley retreated farther into the foyer, backing up against the door. The attack did little more than stun her; her head felt like it was stripped of its contents and stuffed with cotton. Never once did her left arm retract from her body, clutching her notebook tightly against her chest through the fabric of her jacket.

"There," her mother said condescendingly, eyeing her daughter as tears began streaming down her pale face. "Maybe that will teach you to _obey_ me next time."

With that, she sauntered back upstairs, leaving Hayley sobbing quietly in the foyer, her tears mingling with the cracks in the wood of the front door.

[[ ]]

After sulking alone for a while, Hayley sought refuge in the basement and was comforted by the familiar, soft glow her computer offered her. She saw that Taylor had messaged her an hour or so prior, inviting her to join another program called Skype.

She explored the website, which persuaded her to download the application to her computer and set up an account. She did.

After a few minutes of figuring out how the platform worked, she searched up Taylor's Skype information he had provided and added him as a friend. He must have already been on it, because he added her back almost immediately afterwards.

He invited her to videochat, and she accepted. She spied herself in a little window to the lower right of her screen as he was connecting, and took caution to move back from the monitor so that she wasn't too close.

"Hi, Hayley!" Taylor greeted her, smiling excitedly. His curly hair was splayed in a mess on top of his head, and he readjusted it out and away from his eyes.

"Hey," Hayley muttered back timidly, taking in this new form of communicating with him.

"It's so cool to talk to you like this! How are you?"

She touched the red mark on her cheek, fleshy and tender. "I'm good. How are you?"

"Same." His microphone made his voice crackly and amplified each breath he made. "So how's that online school thing you're doing?"

Hayley had forgotten she had mentioned that to him, and was even more surprised that he had remembered it. "It's going well, actually. I'm doing pretty well in math and science."

"That's cool. For me, it's music and English. I mean...hello." He motioned to the electric guitar leaning against the wall closest to him.

She was glad she didn't show any signs of the fact that she was learning only at a middle school level, struggling to get past math equations such as 10=3x+4 and the writing enigma that was iambic pentameter.

"So what have you been doing?"

"Not much," she admitted, playing with a lock of her hair. This action prompted Taylor's attention to draw towards her face, and, unfortunately for her, notice what was upon it.

"Whoa, what happened?"

"What?"

"You have a huge bruise right here." He pointed to his forehead as a show of where Hayley's own bruise was.

 _Shit._ She brought her hand upwards, wincing when her fingers grazed the fresh injury. She couldn't tell him. Not yet. "Oh, right. That. I just, um, walked into a door."

"Yikes." He drew his lips back, baring his teeth in shock. She hadn't even realized how bad it was. "I hope that clears up soon."

"Thanks, but it's nothing."

The redhead was thankful when he dropped the subject. "Are math and science your favorite subjects?"

"Science is, actually. I'm getting into astronomy."

"Oh, that's awesome!" Taylor leaned forward in his desk chair, placing his hands in his lap. "The planets and stuff. Nice."

"Yeah. I actually have this book here, see—"

Hayley pulled her notebook out from her jacket and held it up to the webcam. "I've taken a bunch of notes on it. There are more in my bedroom."

"Cool."

Some shouting could be heard from somewhere past Taylor's room, and he yelled a response back before turning back towards her. "Sorry, that was my roommate. I have to go."

"Okay. We'll talk tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

He signed off, and Hayley was grateful he had posed a distraction from her life for as long as he did.

[[ ]]

Hayley didn't eat dinner that evening, actively avoiding her mother, who was in the kitchen. She went upstairs and placed her notebook in the chronological order with the others it was in prior.

She went to bed a little hungry, but it didn't matter to her; she had gone longer without food before. She hated her body, and felt she ate too much. She didn't know if that was called anything in particular, but she knew she had it.

She changed into a clean set of pajamas and went to bed, staying up awhile, staring at the blank ceiling above her head.

She wondered what Avril was doing. She was probably still awake, doing things. Talking to people. Eating dinner. Maybe she was outside.

The thought of her soothed her into a light sleep.

 


	4. part four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: nsfw content

_September 4._

After a day or so of lingering inside her house, Hayley checked her Skype to see if she had any missed videochat requests. Right as she was doing so, Taylor called her; however, when she accepted, someone she didn't recognize appeared on the screen.

"Hello, Hayley." The stranger smirked at her, with a look in his eyes that made her uneasy.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Josh. Taylor's roommate."

"Where's Taylor?"

"Out with my brother." He leaned back in the desk chair. "It's just me for now."

The two sat in silence for a minute, Hayley because she had no idea what to say to this person, and Josh because...well, she didn't know. He was just staring at her.

"You're very pretty," he said in a tone that unsettled her slightly.

"Um...thank you."

"Can you take off your shirt?"

Hayley was taken aback. "What?"

"Oh, I think you heard me." Josh smiled and quirked an eyebrow.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because a lot of girls do it. It's nothing unusual."

She didn't understand why Josh would _want_ her to do such a thing, to reveal her unsightly body to him, but she obliged anyway. She didn't want to make him angry at her.

In one slow, uncertain motion, the redhead pulled her shirt off over her head and placed it in her lap. She blushed and averted eye contact from him. She felt exposed, vulnerable to any attacks he might target her with.

Josh made several indecent remarks about her body, all of which made Hayley uncomfortable. At the same time, however, a small part of her liked it; he was complimenting her, calling her lithe and attractive. No one had ever said anything like that to her before.

She heard clicking noises coming from Josh's side of the videochat, but decided not to inquire.

"You have a beautiful body, Hayley."

She didn't; she had faded bruises scattered here and there, and her ribs were beginning to poke through her skin. But she thanked him regardless.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath, and turned around in his chair after both heard the subtle sound of the front door opening downstairs in his house. "I have to go."

He signed off before she could say goodbye.

[[ ]]

Hayley received another call from Taylor later in the afternoon. She almost didn't answer, as she was afraid it was going to be Josh again. She got quite an eerie vibe from that boy.

This time she was greeted with Taylor's familiarity, which she was thankful for.

"Taylor, hi!"

His face was a burning shade of red, and he didn't look at her. "Yeah, um, hey Hayles."

"Is something wrong?"

Taylor swallowed, preparing himself before asking, "Did someone else Skype you this morning?"

"Yeah, this guy named Josh."

"And did he tell you to take off your clothes?"

"Yes...?" She wondered where he was going with this.

"Hayley, he...he took screenshots of you."

"Oh. Okay."

Taylor's eyes widened at her. "No. No, that's _bad_."

She tilted her head, making her red hair splay over her neck and shoulders. "What do you mean?"

He stumbled over his words for a second, struggling to form a response. "What do I mean? Do you have any idea what you did?"

Hayley grew confused. "Yeah, I took off my shirt."

He sighed deeply, dropping his head in his hands. "No, you don't get it. You're not supposed to do that. For anyone." Taylor lifted his head, dragging his hand down his face. "Don't worry, I deleted them. But I don't know if the bastard shared them with anyone else."

"I don't understand."

"You don't _understand?_ " He raised his voice at her. "Are you fucking _stupid?_ "

Hayley flinched, feeling her lip quiver. Before she knew it, she had begun to cry. She didn't like being yelled at, because it usually involved her getting beaten afterwards.

"I'm s-sorry," she stuttered, hiding her face. "Please don't hurt m-me..."

"Hurt you? Why the hell would I—"

At that moment, something seemed to click with Taylor. His features softened, and he moved back in his chair a bit, watching her tremble.

"Hayles?" he voiced quietly.

She peeked past the spaces between her fingers. "What?"

"If I ask you something, will you answer it truthfully?"

"I d-don't know..."

"How is your home life?"

Hayley pried her hands away from her face, gazing at him sadly. "I...I can't tell you."

"Please. You can trust me."

Her legs shook from the cease of her anxiety attack. She heaved, trying to quell her nerves. "My mom...hits me a lot. But she's usually out drinking and stuff, so she's not really around that often."

"Is that how you got the bruise on your forehead?"

"Yeah."

Taylor laced his fingers together. "And you're not in school, right? So you have to do online school."

"Right. Hence why I'm 'stupid'."

"You know I didn't mean that." He heaved, looking at her painfully. "Hayley, this...this isn't okay. You need to get out of that house."

"Where will I go?"

"Well, not here, obviously, since I have idiot roommates." The boy chuckled spitefully. "Isn't there anyone else you can live with?"

A name immediately jumped to her mind, and she considered it. "There might be."

"Good. Go to them." Taylor looked directly into his webcam. "Message me when you do. And if anyone who isn't me calls you, _hang up_."

"Right."

He ended the videochat, leaving Hayley with a new determination that otherwise would have been too afraid to enter her thoughts.

[[ ]]

Hayley packed everything. A few sets of clothes and pajamas. What little money she had collected off the street and around the house. Her notebooks, of course, and some writing utensils. All of this went into a thin beige hiking backpack she had uncovered from the basement.

She definitely wanted to bring her computer as well. However, with everything else she had in the backpack, it didn't fit. So she decided to throw it into the box she had first found it in, along with the instruction manual and dented speaker.

Due to her small stature and lack of body strength, the backpack and box were quite difficult to carry, but she knew she wouldn't have to lug them very far anyway. With one last look at the house she had been unfortunate enough to call her home, she spat an insult in its direction and headed off towards the park.

[[ ]]

It was getting late by the time Hayley finally reached the park. She had made it just in time. She called out to Avril, who had begun to leave.

"Hayley?" Avril ran over and helped her set the box down carefully on the ground. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Please..." she whined, hoping her pitifulness was enough to sway her. "I ran away, and I need someone to take me in. Please."

The brunette caught the sizeable bruise on her head, but still held back. "Hayley, you can't just run away. What if your mom reports you missing?"

Hayley didn't think of that. She wasn't even aware her mother could do that.

"She won't. She doesn't care about me. _Please_ let me live with you. If she does come looking for me, then I'll go back. I promise."

Avril narrowed her eyes at her in disbelief. "I don't know..."

"Avril, _please_." The redhead whimpered, on the verge of tears. "I don't have any other choice."

"My house is really small. There's barely enough room for me. I mean, with me being seventeen and all—"

" _I don't care!_ " At this point, Hayley was willing to subject to any means necessary to get her to agree. "I'll stay out of your way, I promise. You won't even know I'm there."

Avril glanced at her, then down at the grass. "I'd rather I did, honestly."

"Does this mean I can stay with you?"

With a sigh, she relented. "Yes. Fine." She lifted the computer box up much more easily than Hayley did. "Hurry up, it's getting dark."

[[ ]]

Avril's house was small; she hadn't been lying about that. But in Hayley's state, she felt it would do wonderfully.

The other girl set the box on the kitchen table, then helped her claw the backpack off of her shoulders. "There's a guest room upstairs; go set that up for yourself. I'll make us dinner."

"Oh, I'm not hungry."

"But you're so skinny." Avril took note of the way the redhead's t-shirt spilled over her scrawny figure; she was almost drowning in the fabric. "You have to eat something."

Hayley decided Avril had been nice enough to let her live with her, and chose not to object further. "Alright."

She solemnly dragged the backpack upstairs and into a nearly empty bedroom, which she guessed was the aforementioned guest room. There was a small bookshelf-like table in one corner, where she carefully stored her notebooks. She then hung her clothes and pajamas in the closet with the hangers it had been provided with.

Avril entered the room then, carrying the computer box. "Thought you might want this up here. I think there's a card table in the basement I can put this on."

Hayley felt her heart leap achingly against her chest the second she met her blue eyes.

She was glad she had at least one person in her life who was willing to love her.

 


End file.
